The twenty-first century is quite the horrifying eye-opener for a Vampyre warrior whose been in a magical coma for a thousand years.The Vampyre in question would be me. I’m so damned confused by the modern world, and getting electrocuted for being misogynistic — whatever that means — is getting old.It’s insanity. Apparently, there’s a species called Karens running in the wild. The Tube of You and the Book of the Faces are alarming. From what I understand, the Karens gather there. I much prefer homing pigeons to the small rectangular metal box the undead of today seem to favor. Although, I am enamored with the horseless metal chariots.The good old days of skin peeling and ripping out entrails are over. So be it. I’ll fit in. Getting set aflame sucks.Plus, there’s a beautiful blonde who’s in my every waking thought. She might not know it yet, but we’re destined to be. Although, every time I cop a feel, I get my nards kneed up into my esophagus. My wooing skills might be a little rusty…Armed with the magic word, please, and the challenge of using my words instead of my sword, I shall succeed.I’m fierce.I’m fabulous.And I’m in love.
